After following my improved healthy eating for 8 months, some surgery dropped me off my path and I’ve rediscovered some of my old bad habits. In a way though, it’s great that it happens to me now, and not when I get to the end of my weight loss journey and realise that the weight is coming back on.

The habit I’ve rediscovered is emotional eating, specifically of sweet and salty snacky food.

I’ve been so amazingly controlled with snacking that I came to the eventual conclusion that I didn’t have a problem with it at all. But I was wrong.

While I haven’t precisely nailed the issue, I think that it’s guilt that is lowering my defenses, and probably attacking my willpower. I know that guilt is the emotion we get to show us where we can learn new things, but this week I feel riddled with guilt, and some of it is probably unhealthy.

What am I guilty about:

• Having so many unreplied emails in my Inbox
• Not getting back to people fast enough
• Getting to work too late, like after 9am
• Not having my book finished yet
• Fibbing to people about my book’s progress
• Not keeping a great to-do list, or even a centralised one
• Not getting things done

There’s loads of other things too I’m sure. But guilt really wears me down. To the point where I’m putting something in my mouth and feeling apathetic about future consequences, or thinking that it’s not going to make a difference.

It is making a difference. I’ve now put on 3kg of my progress.

Hopefully talking about it openly will assist in me being more aware of my behaviour. I need to re-discover all the things I’ve been doing to improve my lifestyle all over again.