Today I was driving back to my office after a meeting and I made a sensational decision. I chose not to order Hungry Jacks (Burger King) and secretly eat it in the car park.

Secret Eating

I use food to cope with stress, overwhelm and emotional upset.

I feel so guilty and ashamed to use low-quality take away food in this way. I will go to a drive-thru and order something fairly standard; a burger, chips and a water. And I just drive nearby and sit by myself in the car while eating them.

I don’t tell anyone.

When I order I use ‘we/us’ prnouns, so the operater thinks it’s not just me.

I try to pay cash so my partner doesn’t see the transaction on our credit card statement.

I remove the rubbish from the car to try to remain undetected.

I even open the car windows to let out all the smell.

I’m thinking that if nobody knows they can’t judge me. But I should be judging myself. These foods are not free. They’re loaded with fat and carbs, and I usually eat them in between other meals.

Today something was different

As I drove toward Hungry Jacks I was talking to myself about making better decisions. This is what talked me out of the bad choice.

I talked about treating myself with more respect, and about how this makes leading a healthy life harder.

I made a sensational decision. I hope I can be strong like this again.